"Medical contra-indications prevent me from blowing into a breathalyzer."
-Jan Nowak, administrator of Kazimierz Dolny county in eastern Poland, on why he refused to be breathalyzed when stopped by police

"In cases of identical twins, there is this rule that the younger one is not self-reliant, and is dependent on the older one."
-Janusz Palikot, a deputy from the ruling Civic Platform (PO), on why President Lech Kaczyński always reacts nervously to criticism of his older twin Jarosław, the leader of the opposition Law and Justice (PiS) party

"This one-time absence was caused by the objective need to temporarily leave the chamber."
-Tadeusz Woźniak, a PiS deputy, in a written explanation he submitted to the parliamentary ethics committee after the PiS caucus boycotted a vote and its members faced a deduction of zl.300 from their allowances

"He said he wanted to have his own altar in his room so that he could pray there in the evening."
-A police officer from Dzierżoniów in southwestern Poland on a 15-year-old altar boy in whose bedroom police found a gold-plated chalice that went missing after a break-in at the local church

Compiled from press reports