“Someone who has eaten meat for years won’t be satisfied with a vegetarian diet, even though it might be healthier.”
—Former President Aleksander Kwaśniewski when asked whether he misses an active role in Polish politics

“The economic crisis in Poland is like the Yeti; people keep saying it exists, but no one has ever seen it.”
—Civic Platform senator Stanisław Bisztyga

“When stopped by the police, the perpetrator calmly explained that the assault was in revenge for what he believed were unfair grades the victim gave to his classmate.”
—A police officer from Lębork, Pomerania province, on a 15-year-old who punched and kicked a local school teacher in the municipal park

“You want to expand your business faster? Pay and meet me. You will spend much less than on bribes for officials.”
—Kiev Mayor Leonid Charnovetsky, who recently proposed businessmen could have dinner with him in return for paying $100,000 into the city budget

Compiled from press reports